Module 1 – Worksheet 2: What Triggers Me – And What’s Underneath It?
Understanding my reactions before trying to manage my child’s
Introduction
Every child brings out something in us—sometimes joy, sometimes pain, sometimes deep discomfort. What we call “misbehavior” in a child often triggers our own unprocessed emotions, stories, and fears. This worksheet invites you to explore what really happens inside you when your child acts out.
“Your child isn’t giving you a hard time. They’re having a hard time.” But are you?
Section 1: My Triggers
1. Which child behaviors do I find most difficult to handle? (Mark all that apply):
☐ Tantrums
☐ Backtalk
☐ Refusal to listen
☐ Messiness
☐ Clinginess
☐ Aggression
☐ Emotional shutdown
☐ Other: ______________________________________
2. What’s my typical first response when one of these behaviors shows up?
☐ Yelling
☐ Shutting down
☐ Trying to fix it quickly
☐ Blaming myself
☐ Other: ______________________________________
Section 2: The Inner Layer
3. When I react this way, what might really be going on beneath the surface?
Complete these sentences:
- When my child yells, I feel: _________________________
- When they ignore me, I feel: ________________________
- When they melt down, I feel: ________________________
4. What are some messages I tell myself in these moments?
☐ “I’m failing as a parent.”
☐ “This shouldn’t be so hard.”
☐ “They’re doing this on purpose.”
☐ “I can’t handle this anymore.”
☐ “What will others think?”
☐ Other: ______________________________________
Section 3: New Narratives
5. What might I choose to believe instead, if I paused and reflected?
Write two new, more compassionate messages to yourself:
🟢 “When my child is overwhelmed, I can remember that…”
🟢 “I am learning to respond, not react. I can choose…”
Draw a volcano and a tree side by side.
– In the volcano, label the things that make you explode.
– In the tree, draw your “cooling system”: What calms you down, grounds you, brings you back to yourself?
(Use colors, shapes, or words—whatever helps you process visually.)
“The more I understand myself, the less I need to control my child.”