Module 2- Worksheet 4: : Building a Loving Fence (Practicing Boundaries)
Goal: To identify an area where a boundary is needed and create a plan to set it clearly and kindly.
Step 1: Identify the Need Think of one area in your family life where you feel consistently tired, resentful, or overwhelmed. This is often a sign that a boundary is needed.
- Examples: Being interrupted while you work, your tween using a disrespectful tone, a child refusing to help with chores, constant demands for screen time.
What is the situation where you need a clearer boundary?
Step 2: Define the Boundary What is the new rule or expectation you want to establish? Be specific and realistic.
- Example: “I need to have 30 minutes of uninterrupted time to finish my work when I get home.”
What is the clear boundary you want to set?
Step 3: Plan Your Communication (Use an I-Message) How will you communicate this new boundary? Use the “I-Message” formula to state it kindly and clearly, without blame.
- Formula: When you… I feel… because…
- Example: “When I’m trying to work and get asked a lot of questions, I feel flustered because I can’t focus and get my tasks done.”
Write down the I-Message you will use:
Step 4: State the New Expectation and a Consequence Clearly state what you want to happen and what the logical consequence will be if the boundary is not respected.
- Goal: The consequence should teach, not punish.
- Example: “From now on, I will be closing my door for 30 minutes. If you interrupt me during that time (unless it’s an emergency), I will have to reset the timer. This means it will take longer for me to be finished and available to play.”
Write down the new expectation and the logical consequence: